04/12/26
03:25am

today was really really nice, spring really feels like its finally here and i've been trying to soak up every ounce of sunlight i can get. this morning my boyfriend and i went for a walk around one of our favorite spots. we saw a lot of cardinals and got distracted looking at a cherry blossom tree on the far end of the trail. watching the pink petals float down brings so much calm to me, this spring i want nothing but peace and i think i'll have a decent chance at getting it. after our walk we went to a local diner/cafe for breakfast and went to play pinball after! there was a market happening outside with small vendors who set up for free, and we bought a cd player/radio for $5! its a real shame though the cd player bit didnt work. thats what we've been searching for this whole time!! a cheap cd player with some speakers attached for the house!! T_T.

overall spending more time outdoors has really helped my mood, and having my lover with me always brings me peace. we have both been making lots of moves to better our lives lately and it seems to be taking a lot of stress off both of our shoulders. he has been practicing driving more lately and seeing him be able to drive us out to our usual spots has been nerve-wracking of course but also a very heartwarming experience. i love watching him grow up and turn into the man he has always dreamt of being. to see him pursue his passions and hobbies lights up my world and i want nothing but to encourage him to do all he can. as long as he keeps me by his side i think ill be alright. thats the only thing i wish for on dandelions or the stars at night anymore. soon he'll have his own car and we can really start working towards a house. its been getting easier to take care of our little apartment recently, everything just kind of feels like its coming together. which is great considering the fact im actually putting effort in and locking in. eek

through this year i have a few main goals, being to start a tech support certification through google, and doing compTIA after that. so i can finally start an IT CAREER! yeah. a career. THATS SCARY!! but i like computers :)
i also need to save up for a new car, i discovered the other day that my exhaust joint has rusted out and started leaking. thanks a lot ford. damn rustbucket. im starting to save for the new one in like, a couple weeks after i pay my taxes. i might put art commission money towards that for the time being instead of a galaxy tab. my escape is my first car ive ever owned, but damn is he ready to be retired. im hoping by the time hes paid off in july i will already have some other options lined up. looking for a toyota rav4 but im not TOOO picky... just the correct amount of picky. something thatll be easy to fix when its higher in miles and not have an oil leak that isnt even worth quoting.
but hey, he gets me from point a to point b, just makes me too anxious.

ive also been playing A LOT of animal crossing [new horizons] again because TOMODACHI LIFE 2 IS COMING OUT. IN 4 DAYSSSSS. I HAVE OFF WORK THE NIGHT IT RELEASES !!! YAAAAAY !!!!!
tomodachi life was my SHIT when i was a kid, i spent so so long torturing those little miis and nintendo didnt miss on the switch sequel. i dont have to forcefem myself to date a man anymore, lets GOOO

the only other thing ive been missing out on playing is pokopia but i refuse to buy a switch 2 right now. its absolutely not worth the money and is a sorry excuse for an upgrade tbh. maybe in like 6 years ill grab one secondhand for cheap but.. until then fuck that and fuck your digital only gamecards. we STILL cant get themes??? home screen music!?! WHY!!?
but that is all, a quick little update! at the end of the month i'll be going to see escape the fate so ill have to keep you all posted. its gonna be my first concert in a while!

peace!

03/21/26
05:10am

yesterday i woke up with an itch. not a . literal one thank god, but an itch to go outside. more specifically a hike. the original plan was to go around my usual spots, though none of them were calling. so i decided on somewhere new, somewhere i've heard about for a while but never had the chance to go. the top of a mountain.

ok, that sounds a lot more extreme than it was. my boyfriend and i went out to pine grove furnace state park to tackle pole steeple, a 1.5 mile hike that elevates 500ft over the course of your trek. a steep climb, but well worth the view at the end. i've lived around pine grove my entire life and have only seen photos of the top of the outlook, why live through others experiences when i could go do it myself?
after waking up for the day i packed us up some lunch and we head out the door. bug drove us there through the mountains, we are trying to get him his license and he's doing really well, even with the alignment in my car being totally busted.

when you arrive you park down next to the lake, there are some picnic tables and benches there to rest at and watch the view of the water.

[the lake, and my car.]

and before we actually went up the trail, we walked down the road just a bit to find a spring coming right out of the mountain! a lot of people come out here and fill up jugs with the stuff. they say it's far better than anything you can get bottled or from the tap and honestly. i believe them lol.

[bug checking out the spring, it was so clear and nice and cool.]

then, we begun our journey. i wore shorts even though it was a bit chilly but i do not regret a single second of it. when they say a steep climb, they MEAN IT. but i'll be damned if i said it wasn't satisfying. the climb hurts, you want to give up so bad. but you have to remind yourself of how much of a machine your body is, we were built to run around in the woods, to play, to explore, to experience. it just feels so good reminding myself i can do these things. even if it's difficult. and it didn't take long for the road to disappear behind us, leaving us with nothing but the silence of the forest surrounding us.

[i took these photos when we just began hiking, this is a shot pointing down the trail.]

not much longer after a few bench and water breaks, we hit a point in the trail where it splits off to two paths: moderate, and steep. of course we went up the steep side.
we were nearing the end of our journey, why not go the hard way up and the easy way down lol. the anticipation was rejuvinating me as we began to get sight of the overlook. an absolutely enormous rock would be our finish line.

and wow. WOW. remember the big lake from the beginning of this post?

CHECK OUT HOW TINY IT IS NOW.

reaching the top of the trail felt like i hadnt even walked a step, the view was so breathtaking, an absolutely new feeling. it felt similar to seeing the ocean for the first time. a different perspective, a new point of view. mind opening as to how everything can be so small. the same mountains that tower over me as i live in the dips of them are now under my own two feet. i would highly highly reccommend the experience... to anyone who is able to have it.

i will leave you with a few more of my favorite shots from the top. take it easy readers.

03/16/26
11:57pm

im really missing pittsburgh right now. driving through is a nightmare but it has its own charm. coming from the east you go through a lot of gorgeous mountains, and then when you're actually in the city it's still mountains but with a lot more houses now lol. i've never been anywhere else that the roads have felt so strange. they're also incredibly steep. anthrocon is just not in the books this year which is a bummer, but pittsburgh is a good 3-4 hour drive from us, and i need a new car lol. my plan this year though is just to rework my fursuit, i think puppy v1 is Okay, but he for sure could be better. and thats kind of the fun thing about making art, im happy i made him even though i need to remake him. it was still fun and i was doing it on the con crunch. my hands hurt for SO LONG after sewing the fur together !!! lolol.

but i think im also just missing the community that anthrocon brings. whether its a person i met at warped tour who Just so happens to be a furry, or friends i talk to every day who live across the country, or even just a couple miles. the trip is so exciting, i love being at the waterfront. i love exploring cities. and i really would love to go back to the allegheny cemetery, ITS HUGE!!!

03/11/26
04:40am

helloo,, it is just about time for me to get off my last day of work for the week. today the forecast calls for rain in the afternoon and storms in the evening, which is very exciting to me. i've been waiting for winter to back off a bit but even this period of warmer weather and thunderstorms will be short-lived. we are supposed to get another cold snap in about a week.. im over it lol x_x!

im also excited to be able to spend my entire day with my lover, his soft face, his gorgeous blue eyes, i miss his voice so much right now... but as soon as i get home i will be able to see him and my little baby cat, so i think i can wait a bit longer for such a gift. hopefully we will be able to spend the day soaking up nature and relaxing with eachother.
and tomorrow im going to see a friend for her birthday lunch and to go shopping. probably going to get some new pants, i haven't bought any in a while,, and i want some that actually fit me lol.
i hope this last hour or so is the fastest ive ever been through, heres to hoping.

listening to: billie was a vampire - selofan

02/25/26
10:37am

it is the end of february, three days remain. the chill in the air is making me nostalgic and full of anticipation for the rest of the year. the way it shocks my nervous system and blows right through my bones reminds me of when i felt like nothing more than a ghost. its been about four years since i moved out of my dads house to live "on my own". as on your own you can get in todays economy at 18 years old. which means with two other roommates, great and all but ive always just felt held down because of my situation. i live in my own apartment now with my boyfriend, it feels a lot better. going outside has become a new favorite hobby for me, even when the lack of sun in the winter wants to keep me pinned to my bed. my depression has been easier to manage and i can act upon my desires instead of feeling like theyre impossible. it feels like everything is possible now, from my own will to survive and the support from the people around me. even at the worst i am alive. so i will continue living, because a lot of beautiful and silly things happen all the time. i just need to jump on writing in here when they happen, because it seems unless i have the specific spark of creativity i cannot write anything to save my life.

im gunna finish up drawing and head home from the library. peace

02/18/26
08:04am

bwaa, hello everyone!!! welcome to the new blog layout, please excuse the fact that its a bit bare. i want to write in it more than i want to decorate it! i definitely got to try some new things this time around, lots more layering and textures. im open to any feedback you may have about it!

i really have been meaning to write in my blog, my old code was just one big long text file that was getting to be far too long. so that made it a bit difficult for me to update frequently enough. i also felt like any long writings i do would get buried in my many, many thoughts. now that ive been able to add a simple sidebar, it really opens things up. lets see whats in that sidebar...

our first category is "noteworthy". this is a pretty self explanatory one, anything i feel like should have its own spotlight page will be linked there and open in a new window. im working on a piece about my favorite mausoleum for that section, so stay tuned for that.
then there is "microlog", these are just specific subsections for things i talk about a lot, but don't need their own page or dedicated space on my site. they will open in this scrolling right side, just like the log you're reading now!

hopefully this change will bring me back to updating my site more often, social media really has me feeling off recently. besides tumblr im not active anywhere else, i dont like the rise of generative ai, i dont like short-form content, i dont like the heirarchy system that exists, i dont like where music has gone because of social media, everyone just wants a quick click, no soul, no heart, just likes. its the modern day that really makes me think about why i started this website in the first place. to be able to exist freely, dedicate my time into my passions more than just follow whatever is "trending", and not feel so forced to make things to please the algorithm!!! also remaking my blog has opened my eyes to where my site is also currently lacking, id really like to remake my art gallery soon, ive been kind of trying to keep the furry separate from my website ... but the time has come for these two worlds to come together. my art has been my life for a long time, and id like to be able to give it the proper spotlight, finally.

this post is a bit long for what i'd usually post in a microlog, but i hope this helps explain where i want to go with things. i hope you will come back to see it soon!